Try Saying

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer tolerated.

We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers, therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

INSTEAD OF SAYING:
You don't know what the fuck you're doing.
TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.

INSTEAD OF SAYING:
When the fuck do you expect me to do this?
TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that is not feasible.

INSTEAD OF:
No fucking way!!
TRY SAYING:
Really?

INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be shitting me.
Perhaps you should check with…

Blow me!
Yes, we really should discuss it.

Kiss my ass.
I'm a bit overloaded at this moment.

Tell someone who gives a shit.
Of course I'm concerned.

Fuck it, I'm on salary.
I don't think you understand.

Ask me if I give a shit.
I wasn't involved in the project.

It's not my fucking problem.
That's interesting.

What the fuck?!?!
I'm not sure I can implement this.

Fuck it, it won't work.
I'll try to schedule that.

Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
Are you sure this is a problem?

Who the fuck cares?
He's not familiar with the problem.

He's got his head up his ass.
Excuse me sir?

Eat shit and die mother fucker.
So you weren't happy with it?

Shove it up your ass.
I love a challenge.

This job sucks.
You want me to take care of that?

Who the hell died and made you boss?
I see.

Another fucking meeting!!!
I don't think this will be a problem.

I really don't give a shit.
He's somewhat insensitive.

He's a fucking prick.
She's an aggressive go getter.

She's a ball busting bitch.
I think you could use more training.